Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
