Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
