The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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