oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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