omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
