Michael Bay diarrhea
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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