why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
