So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
