why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
