So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
