I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
