Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
