Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
