Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
