marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
