they need to just BURY HIM!
Ketchup is God's man juice
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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