I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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