dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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