so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
God, I missed his penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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