mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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