dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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