all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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