Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
