Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
