They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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