Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
