dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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