He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
