So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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