You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
