Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
