...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize