So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
