She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
soo... how was my night?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
