While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
