So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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