and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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