??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
