If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
