Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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