I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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