...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
