She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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