dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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