How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
