On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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