He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
