my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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