im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
