About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
